Stress — Friend or Foe?

Jeneen Masih
Aug 20
3 min read

Updated: Aug 20

Stress. We’ve all felt it. At its core, stress is your body’s response to a challenge or demand. It often comes with feelings of frustration, anger, or nervousness. When unmanaged, stress can negatively affect our physical and mental well-being. But here’s the truth: stress isn’t always the enemy. In the proper form, it can be a powerful force for growth, healing, and transformation.

The Two Faces of Stress: Distress vs. Eustress

Not all stress is the same. Distress is the kind that wears us down—overwhelm, pressure, burnout. But eustress is stress with a purpose.

Think of an athlete in training. By pushing muscles to the limit, tiny tears form. When healed, the muscles come back stronger. Without that stress, there would be no growth.

Life works the same way. When we lean into challenges, eustress helps us expand our capacity, sharpen our skills, and uncover strength we didn’t know we had.

Stress as the Foundation of Growth and Repair

This truth is beautifully illustrated in the Japanese art of Kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold. The cracks are not hidden; they are honored as part of the object’s story, making it more valuable and beautiful than before.

Our lives mirror this process. Stress can create painful cracks, but when we approach it with intention and healing, it becomes the very material of our transformation.

The Shadow Side: Unprocessed Stress and Trauma

The opposite is also true: stress that is left unprocessed can cause harm. Trauma often traps thoughts and emotions in a feedback loop, keeping the nervous system locked in fight-or-flight. Over time, this constant activation damages health and contributes to inflammation-based conditions such as heart disease, autoimmune disorders, anxiety, depression, and digestive issues.

The reality is, we have all experienced trauma in some form. And while trauma leaves its imprint, it does not have to define us. Releasing it from our bodies allows us to live lives that honor the best aspects of who we are. This work is not something we have to do alone—trauma-informed coaches and practitioners provide incredible support, helping people process and release what’s been carried for far too long.

Choosing a New Relationship with Stress

The empowering shift is this: stress doesn’t have to be an enemy. It can become an ally when we build agility in moving in and out of stress states. The ability to activate fight-or-flight when needed—then return to balance—lets us access the benefits of stress without being consumed by it.

A big part of this comes from minimizing unnecessary daily stress to prevent it from piling up into burnout. Here are intentional ways to do that:

Clarify What Matters Most: When you’re clear on your values and long-term vision, decisions get easier. Every “yes” or “no” reflects your bigger dreams.
Organize Around Priorities: Shape your schedule around what’s truly important instead of letting the urgent crowd it out.
Anchor in Self-Care: Your worth isn’t based on productivity. Care for yourself with nourishing food, good sleep, movement that energizes you, and supportive relationships.
Commit to Daily Practices: Mastery—and joy—come from consistent repetition. Whether it’s music, sport, cooking, or art, daily practice builds strength and fulfillment.

The cool thing is this: each aligned choice strengthens the next. The best measure of progress isn’t a checklist—it’s how you feel and what you’re naturally attracting into your life.

The Role of the Vagus Nerve in Resilience

One of the most powerful tools for navigating stress is the vagus nerve—the body’s “reset button” that helps us return to calm. When toned and resilient, it allows us to respond to challenges with presence instead of reactivity.

Three Ways to Support a Healthy Vagus Nerve

Breathwork: Slow, deep breathing—especially lengthening the exhale—signals safety to the body and activates calm.
Cold Exposure: A splash of cold water or a cool shower stimulates the vagus nerve and strengthens its reset function.
Connection: Eye contact, laughter, and meaningful conversation regulate the nervous system through genuine human connection.

Final Thoughts

So, is stress a friend or foe? The answer is—it can be either. Left unprocessed, it traps us in cycles of illness and fear. But with awareness, clarity, and intentional practice, stress becomes a catalyst for growth, resilience, and deeper connection.

Stress is not the villain of our story. With the right relationship, it can be the teacher, the ally, and even the golden thread that makes us stronger and more beautiful than before.